Tonight, I was again reminded that God always knows what’s best for us.

We might get blinded sometimes. By what we want, by what we think is good for us. But God never leave us. He will redirect us to the right path, the right thought, the right choice.

And when we are ready to kneel down and pray to Him, He will give us answers immediately.

It happened tonight to me.

Thank You, God. I pray to You, thank You.

And so it has come. And so I’ve arrived here….

20 years of heart beats after….

I’m halfway around the world away from my birth place.

I will not be a teen-age anymore in a short time. Or, in fact, I already am not if counted by my birthplace’s timezone.

20 years is a long journey. I’ve discovered many new places. I’ve met lots of unique people. I’ve hated some, but loved most. I’ve accomplished some goals, and failed a handful. And I’ve survived the ups and downs.

But 20 years is less than a blink of an eye for the universe. Merely a quarter of my grandmother’s life.

But I thank God for these 20 years. Thank Him for who and what I am now. Thank God for the 20 years of breath, 20 years of love, 20 years of journey of life.

And most importantly, thank Him for giving me companions: my family, my friends, my teachers, my rivals, my enemies, my coworkers, my classmates, and everyone else who I know and don’t know. For without even one of them, I might not even be here.

Thank you, God, for this 20 years of Weepings and Happiness.

This past couple days, I’ve been thinking a lot. And most of my thoughts are the “what if” thoughts, and mostly concerning my academic life.

Looking back to two years ago, I keep thinking to myself, “What if I had not chosen to come here to University of Minnesota?”

At that time, I applied to four places: Nanyang Technological University (NTU, Singapore), Cornell University (NY, USA), University of Virginia (VA, USA), and, of course, University of Minnesota (MN, USA)

At that time, all signs seemed to point to Minnesota. I was not accepted at Cornell. I suspected because I hadn’t taken SAT2. I was accepted to University of Virginia, but Virginia Tech shooting happened, which threw Virginia out of the list even though it is a different school. I was also not accepted at NTU and I refused to be reconsidered for some complicated reasons.

Now look what happened at NTU: NTU sees second suspected suicide case in one week. I feel like it’s only a matter of time before something happened at Cornell. I hope not, because sometimes, I still hope that I could have gone there.

Indeed, I was diverted for three semesters from University of Minnesota to Century College. But the trip to Minnesota was so smooth. Flying with stand by tickets with my mum, we got comfortable seatings for all of our planes we planned to take. My transition had been very smooth too. I excel in my classes and I became very involved.

Although, one thing DID happen in Minnesota right after I got here. Remember when the 35W bridge collapsed? Yeah, it was a major ‘disaster’. The support beams of the bridge are still lying on the Mississippi River bank, visible every time I have to go across the river.

Back to the main point. What if I had chosen a different path? Would I be the same as now? As happy as now? As content as now? As active as now? I wouldn’t say that there’s no hardships of living here. But for now, I will again say that I am content.

Light up a candle
from across the ocean

Light up a candle
to a place in memory

Light up a candle
for a compatriot

Light up a candle
for a rival

Light up a candle
for a neighbour

Light up a candle
for a brother

Light up a candle
for a friend

And light up a candle
for ourselves
so that this tragedy
will not happen again

Light up a candle
to brighten our paths

For David Hartanto Widjaja, and everyone else whose goals and dreams carry them far away from home. May the candles prevent anybody from having to walk in the dark again.

See here for details: David Hartanto Widjaja